Usually, as a pastoral counselor, I demonstrate how mental health and religion go together. I help clients who identify as persons of faith by translating unfamiliar psychological concepts into the more familiar language of their religious tradition. My concern is to demonstrate that their religious beliefs and mental health are compatible. Pastoral Counseling ? | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY
Over the years, however, I’ve discovered a different aspect of pastoral counseling. I have discovered that a pastoral counselor is not just a cheerleader for religion. In fact, it is increasingly an obligation is to call out religious abuse.
For example, many folks who presented with what looked like depression or anxiety were. in fact, suffering from the consequences of an abusive religious upbringing, specifically, certain strains of Christianity. They what could be labeled religious PTSD.
Of late, it is clear that the word Christian conveys dramatically different meanings. Thus, one can’t assume that faith and psychology go together. For the most part, the individual beliefs themselves are not abusive, but, when exaggerated or taken in isolation or out of context, they can be.
Sometimes the abusiveness stems from the way some forms of Christianity interpret Jesus’ teaching. Worse, when religious tenets conflict with established science, they have the potential to be psychologically harmful. Abusive, unhealthy traditional Christianity, theology, and practice — Unadulterated Love
With this in mind, I want to call out and address specific religious teachings that not only inflict needless emotional pain but also cause psychological harm.
Common Signs of Religious Abuse
Along with depression and anxiety, caused by unrealistic demands and expectations that abusive religion imposes, here are some other telltale symptoms:
— Excessive guilt and shame, poor self-esteem.
–Neglected self-care.
— Anger and intolerance of diversity.
— Unquestioning obedience to religious authority. These are just a few of the beliefs that could be signs of religious abuse.
How religious teachings abuse ?
Many folks erroneously associate religious abuse with clergy sexual abuse of children. Sadly, even more abuse stems from harmful religious teachings.
It’s important to understand the precise nature of psychological abuse. It is more than insulting, offensive, disgusting or cruel. Google’s AI summary nails it:
” Abuse is when someone uses their behavior or influence over another person to cause harm or to exert power over them, especially when that behavior is repeated regularly. It can be hard for many of us to recognize abuse because it most often comes from someone we know and trust”.
People approach religious teachings with respect and trust and thus, in their vulnerable state, they are easily influenced and open to manipulation and abuse. Here are five religious concepts to watch out for and question to consider:
What is the fundamental image of God ?
The nature of God preached by Jesus is one of boundless love. However, the Bible also contains an Old Testament that often portrays God as angry and vengeful. Indeed, seeing God as wrathful creates fear and anxiety. The image of a fearful God correlates highly with abuse..
What is the essential understanding of human nature ?
The innate sinfulness of human beings, as depicted in the Garden of Eden story, is corrosive to positive self-esteem. It is one thing to acknowledge human fallibility but it is abusive to declare that our essential nature is evil and worthy of eternal damnation.
Rather than being sinful by nature, psychology understands human failings as the result of either neurological anomalies or the consequence of prior trauma.
Is self-care minimized ?
While loving one’s neighbor as one’s self is found in both the old and new , this commandment is often interpreted and hear as: Love your neighbor INSTEAD OF one’s self.. Abusive religion often denounces important self-care/ as selfish.
Many clients express surprise to hear that loving oneself is just as important as loving one’s neighbor. A psychologically healthy person keeps in balance the love of self and others. Abusive teachings concerning love are often out of balance.
What about Sex, Gender and Sex/Gender Diversity?
Abusive religion fears sex. As a result, traditional Christian teaching about sex is often harsh and hostile. Many clients report that they were taught that sex was dirty and sinful. Even normal sexual curiosity and desires are inherently bad. Ironically, the guilt caused by masturbation can create needless shame that leads to sexual problems within marriage .
Likewise, abusive religion contradicts medical science, especially in the areas of sexual diversity. For example, an interpretation of Gen 19’s condemnation of homosexuality is based on an inaccurate translation. Likewise, Jesus never condemned homosexuality. Bad theology, in turn, leads to not only psychological problems but social bigotry and cultural intolerance as well.
Nowhere is discrimination and inequality more blatant than in abusive religion’s attitudes about women and sexual diversity. Suggesting inferiority and demanding that women submit to their husbands and creates serious emotional conflicts for women. Impugning the legitimacy of a person’s sexual preference or gender identity is not only scientifically ignorant but also psychologically and socially harmful.
Questioning and Obedience to Authority ?
Finally, abusive religion’s emphasis on obedience to authority endangers vulnerable followers. Whether it’s abusive clergy or husbands, many Christians are taught not to question, challenge or disobey even if they are being exploited or harmed.
Indeed, the lack of self-examination and accountability for its errors exposes a religion’s abusiveness. As seen in the many sexual abuse scandals, some religions choose to cover up the abuse and protect the perpetrators rather than seek justice and defend the victims.
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To review and sum up, healthy religion:
- Healthy religion is optimistic because its view of God is loving and forgiving.
- A healthy view of human nature is accepting and realistic. It understands that people have both strengths and weaknesses, but are not shameful or essentially sinful.
- Non-abusive religion understands that love for others needs to be balanced with love and self-care.
- Healthy religion does not fear sex, nor does it contradict science, or deny the reality/legitimacy of sexual diversity. It does not subordinate women.
- Healthy religion is humble and dynamic. It is open to criticism and improvement
Rev. Michael Heath, LMHC, Fellow A.A.P.C. 8 17 2025
