PASTORAL COUNSELING: EXPOSING TOXIC RELIGION
The recent merger of right-wing politics with Evangelical Christianity confuses clients who seek counseling from a pastoral counselor. So, I want to share some thoughts about what pastoral counseling means for me.
Pastoral Counseling in Perspective
Looking back over the years since Pine Ridge began, I realize how dynamic Pastoral Counseling (PC) is. Pastoral Counseling recognizes that not all emotional problems are pathological. Life transitions and death raise profound spiritual questions that benefit from counseling. Also, PC demonstrates how faith and psychology can work together to improve mental health.
For example, PC can show people how familiar Bible stories, such as the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), dramatize important psychological concepts. In Luke’s story, for example, folks can see how anxiety and feeling overwhelmed look like irritability and anger.
Over the years, however, things changed. Unfortunately, many of my clients reported emotional trauma connected with their experience with religion. Instead of increasing a sense of love and gratitude, religion deepened their sense of sinfulness and unworthiness.
Rather than translating psychological concepts into more familiar biblical or theological ones, my role evolved to addressing abuses of religious teaching. The effects of toxic religion include damaged self-esteem and false and debilitating feelings of guilt and shame. Examples of Toxic Theology and Religious Trauma – Death, Grief, and Belief
Sadly, while the media gives attention to sexual abuse it often overlooks the more subtle damage of harmful religious doctrines. Indeed, not enough light shines on the psychological harm created by corrosive religious teaching.
With this in mind, here are some telltale signs of harmful religion to watch out for. toxic religion | Pastoral Counseling Syracuse NY
Emphasizing Sin Over Love
One tell-tale sign of toxic religion is its emphasis on a person’s innate sinfulness. To be clear, the Gospel is about the good news of God’s redeeming love. This teaching, when combined with harsh or critical childhood experiences, creates a self-image that is so negative that a person cannot hear or believe that s/he are worthy of God’s love.
This negative view of humanity stems from the theological notion of atonement. Atonement is the belief that human sin created a debt to God that Jesus’ sacrificial death paid. This view comes from a negative assessment of human nature.
For many, teaching that one is essentially evil creates a deep-rooted sense of shame. When combined with harsh parental criticism and put-downs, this sense of irradicable guilt can lead to serious psychopathology.
Fear and Condemnation of Normal Sexuality
Remarkably, even now, clients express extreme guilt and panic over normal things like masturbation. Sadly, many churches send out less-than-positive messages about sex to their followers.
It is helpful to understand that this negativity dates back to the beginning of Christianity. To review, Christians believed that Jesus’ return was imminent. Of particular concern, his return would bring a spiritual transformation which would eliminate material existence and therefore sex. As a result, sex was not a theological focus.
Indeed, Jesus’ failure to return shocked early believers and resulted in the creation of the church. As church doctrine evolved. With respect to sex, St. Augustine set the negative tone for sex. Writing that infants were in need of Baptism, because, at conception, the parents’ lust transmitted sin to the child. Logos Virtual Library: Saint Augustine: Confessions, I, 7
It should be noted that, prior to his conversion to Christianity, Aurelius Augustinus of Hippo was sexually promiscuous and experienced terrible guilt for his sexual sins. The projection of this guilt into the Christian tradition is not only obvious but psychologically unfortunate.
Church history aside, it needs to be clear that masturbation is not only normal but a healthy means of stress relief. Masturbation: Facts & Benefits
Subordination of Women
Another demeaning aspect of toxic religion is its subjugation of women. Some believe that Jesus only had men as disciples and cite 1 Timothy 2:11-12 (women should be silent and not have authority over men) to support this view. In fact, Jesus said nothing about the inferior status of women and entrusted Mary Magdalene with important responsibilities. Luke 8:1-3.
Again, putting this belief into context helps. Historically, women were the first leaders of the church. Worship consisted of prayer and meals of remembrance in kitchens in their homes. Later, when the church was institutionalized under a Roman military format, women were excluded. It is notable that four gospels ( Mary, Philip, Sophia, and Thomas were deemed inauthentic, in part because of their acceptance of women’s equality.“I Have Seen the Lord” Mary Magdalene in the New Testament and Early Christianity – CBE International
Certainly, in today’s world, clinging to the notion of women’s innate inferiority is not only absurd but also emotionally damaging to men as well as women.
Denial of Science
Abusive religion also demands that a person deny logic and fact and choose faith over science. The consequences of this conflict can be more than emotional. As a practical concern, it may not matter if one thinks the earth is 6 thousand or 4 billion years old; sometimes choosing science does matter: e.g., when a child dies because a parent chose faith over medical science. More recently, anti-vax hysteria endangered public safety.
Fortunately, this conflict is not necessary. Unlike science, faith embraces the transcendent, including moral values and ultimate purpose. Science deals with the material, empirical and quantifiable. If one understands and keeps their distinctive realms separate, there is no contradiction or need to choose between religion and science.
Rigidity and the Absence of Humility
Finally, the trademark of abusive religion is its rigidity and lack of humility concerning human understanding. Despite historical evidence revealing how beliefs have changed, literalists hold fast to their fixed beliefs. Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who… book by Bart D. Ehrman
Rigidity in the face of change is not a sign of mental health. Indeed, good mental health is characterized by a person’s ability to be flexible and reasonably adaptable to life’s challenges.
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Despite its problems, I believe that non-toxic faith is an important part of good mental health. The ability to love oneself and others is faith’s fundamental message. Likewise, feeling gratitude for life’s blessings and trusting that there is an ultimate purpose and meaning for one’s journey on this earth are hallmarks of emotional well-being. That said, I conclude with I Thessalonians 5:20-21: “Do not quench the Spirit, do not despise prophesying, but test everything; hold fast what is good” .
Rev, Michael Heath, LMHC, Fellow AAPC 6 1 2026
